What would you do...?
Picture, poolside. Hot, sunny day. You’ve just come back from a job that took time off of your life span. The sun is going down, but there’s still enough sun for it to be day time for a few more hours. The water is clear blue, lighter than the sky. There are palm trees, blunts being passed around, hennesy, E & J. Beautiful black women & a few of the homies there as well. The woman you’re with you haven’t known for too long, only a week & some change, but she’s stunning. Everyone who knows her wants her, but she’s choosing to spend her time with you. Beautiful chocolate skin with a tattoo that says “made in heaven” just above her ass. You want to get to know her a little better, but you know better, or at least you think you do. She’s wearing a white bikini with white mesh pants on top, knit loose enough for you to see the ass but not enough for you to get too close to her sacred spaces. You’re wearing all black, black shirt, black shorts, black bandana & even socks, but white shoes. The yin & yang comparison sounds good on paper, but you had to be there to see it.
I grab my gun off of the counter & submerge it under the pool’s warm but cold water. I’m watching her out of the corner of my eye as I feel the vibrations of the chamber filling with water. Such a graceful being, like a freshly hatched butterfly. As I walk over back to the group, I admire her essence underneath the sunlight. A delicate, playful, caring woman with beauty for all to behold, but I don’t yet know where her true intentions lie. She started off wanting to fuck me, but I told her to give it a minute so I could study her, but the more I study her, the less I feel like I know about her. I slowly push the forend of my gun forward, cycling a round into the chamber while staring her down, hoping she meets my gaze & recognizes her demise.
She finally looks up at me. The realization washes across her face like high tide washing away sand castles.
“Don’t even think about it, I’m trying to light the blunt”, she says with that gap toothed grin you like. You like it so much you lower the barrel. Not completely, just enough so that she knows you mean no harm… yet. Every piece of you loves the chase. The making everyone else who wants her jealous, the being close to her & being all up on her. Holding her hand & putting your hand on her thigh when you drive her car. Paying for things when she goes to do it. The satisfaction you get from being a protector & provider, but you’re in your head about if you can actually trust her given it’s only been about a week. The things you do & deal with in your waking life are not for the faint of heart but you feel like she can sense that, but part of you feels like she doesn’t totally understand it.
You see her hand off the blunt to someone else & instantly raise your gun back up. She flinches, runs to get her gun. You give chase, like you always do. In this moment, your head is clear. Thoughts are pure & only concerned with one thing. Don’t let the enemy win, even if the enemy is your friend.
So, you spray her. You soak her. You overpower her. Not intentionally & not with force, but it still has to be done. In order for you to win. Of course, she gets in a good few shots on you, but you’re experienced. You’ve shot these guns before. Plenty of times. She’d thought she’d had an advantage due to being quicker to draw, quicker to reload, but YOU. You were handicapped in how long it took you to reload, how your weapon was pump action, & how much of your ammo would leak back out… but you still won.
She eventually throws in the towel. You both lay down your weapons.
Somewhere along the lines, unbeknownst to even yourself at some points, YOU pick YOUR weapon back up. Figuratively speaking.
Another week goes by.
Things have gotten pretty stale between you both, mainly because you're skeptical of her motives. The other day, you had an unexpected encounter with divine intervention while smoking with her & her friend. You feel as if it could be good, but your body is subconsciously moving away from her. When you talk to your right hands about it, they tell you she's not a great candidate. Consulting the team is important to you, it helps you keep everyone happy while fulfilling your karmic duties. Only this time you're realizing, when you win somebody inevitably has to lose. Which would make them sad. Even your friends sometimes have to lose to you. You question if her thoughts are purely sex based & since they started like that, would she ever truly like the real you?
Or actually care?
So, time passes & you stop seeing her. You follow your first instinct & let her go.
She's obviously upset because of what feels like wasted time.
You feel as if she may not understand your thought processes especially because people have claimed you ramble.
She still sounds interested in seeing you sometime soon though...
What do you do?
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